I'm kind of scared of getting too used to feeling good. Of letting you in. Of letting you make me feel so fucking good. All I can think of right now is why did I turn down such a perfect opportunity of doing it with you (again). And of how much my body hurts, nevertheless.
Something tells me I'll regret indulging in this too much sometime soon.
Something tells me I'll regret indulging in this too much sometime soon.
satisfaction
Dec. 16th, 2013 11:08 pmOkay I have to be honest: I wasn't expecting you to go but I'm really super super glad you did. Double that amount of happiness too because you actually stayed the night. I am that happy, haha.
It's also adorable how you struggled to say you wanted to go somewhere more intimate. I'd be stupid enough now to say I was just waiting for you to want it too because I've always wanted to do it again. I will be also stupid again to say that okay, the second time really feels a million times better than the first and while my entire body still aches from the whole affair, I'm looking forward to the next? Hahaha.
Also, wow. So horrible for me to judge people who engage in PDA when I was fucking fingered in public places. Hahahahahahaha. Well.
It's also adorable how you struggled to say you wanted to go somewhere more intimate. I'd be stupid enough now to say I was just waiting for you to want it too because I've always wanted to do it again. I will be also stupid again to say that okay, the second time really feels a million times better than the first and while my entire body still aches from the whole affair, I'm looking forward to the next? Hahaha.
Also, wow. So horrible for me to judge people who engage in PDA when I was fucking fingered in public places. Hahahahahahaha. Well.
reflection
Dec. 13th, 2013 11:39 pmIt's funny how my entries here just speak of the same thing over and over again. One entry would see me crying over how this isn't just working and the next details how much I (and you... sometimes) want to make it work. It's honestly stupid and disconcerting to see me write the same things over and over again. I'm not sure what's wrong but please God tell me because it's really stressful to keep on fighting for something that might not even be right.